Through the rustling trees and the dying flowers the howling wind went sweeping all the life out of nature. The howling wind went as fast as the speed of sound,chasing the old ragged man until it stopped right outside an old abandoned cabin to which the man was now lying in , lying there on the dusty hardwood floors all alone . He barely made it in there before the wind caught him . He’s lying on the floor in hope that there is help somewhere in this house . Whilst waiting he lay there in a silent house with nothing but rotting wood and an infestation of rats and cockroaches . All alone in the world ,in life, and in this home that isn’t even his.
Silence filled the rooms and nothing else only a ragged old man who was covered in mud. He was worn down and exhausted he could barely stand . He worked up the strength to get up and look through the dirty plastic window to see if it was over and to his surprise it was he felt the gentle sun beams stroking his face . While he was up he decided to stumble around the house looking for help . In the kitchen nothing only a worn down oven and moldy bread it looked as if no-one had been in there in centuries . But in the corner was a little girl weeping. She looked up and jumped into his arms it was his daughter. He managed to get a smile on his face and they waked out of there together.
Hi Nikita,
ReplyDeleteI love your two paragraphs. I especially like the first one, because of all the words you used to describe the weather outside. What is your favourite paragraph? And did you find it challenging to make two paragraphs?
Prudence,
Yaldhurst Model School
Hi prudence ,
DeleteThank you so much for your feedback It really helps me to know what people like about my writing .
I like the first paragraph also , I did find it challenging to find describing words for both paragraphs without repeating myself .
once again thank you so much for your feedback .
Hi Nikita,
ReplyDeleteI love this story; you are really good at describing. This story made me want to keep reading and I didn't get bored at any point. I will be looking out for any new blog posts!
Thanks,
Ariana, Yaldhurst Model School.
Hi Ariana ,
DeleteThanks so much for your comment .
I found this story one of my best when describing things.
Thanks for the comment once again !
Hi Nikita, my name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School and I really like your story. It really drags you in when you start to read it. It's a really surprising story. Next time maybe you could put the picture down the bottom of the story.
ReplyDelete